A whole new idea

This is where I would usually say how I feel and maybe cry alittle or something like that.
Not today I want to expand on why those feelings are so over whelming and crippling to me. I am not sure why, but it seems to me that the the later it gets without any progress in my situation that the feelings get better, why is that do you suppose?

Every time I make progress in one area of my life, another one seems to go backwards. I am not sure if this is self sabotage or a self-fulfilling prophecy, but I would like to know why most people dont have a problem balancing the different aspects of their lives, at least not to the point of debilitation. I think that I need to step back and really reexamine my life and either simplify or simply cut out parts that are not needed - at least right now.

My family - the best thing and the worst thing - most of the time I can count on them - but sometimes I wonder,  that is my insecurity. Friends - men in particular are an issue for me. I have only 2 modes: all in or all out - thats no way to be - there is no middle ground and this is why  I get hurt so much I fall in love way too easy and dont think at all. This is just part of my personality - I really am a romantic a heart  I always think that if some one loves me - they could never hurt me, this is just no true, those are the people who can hurt you the most. There is nothing that can be done about it though - it is just the way it is, I expect to be hurt a million more times before I find some one who will not hurt me.

All I can do is get my life together and get it on the right track and hope that the pain is worth it in the end, which I expect it will be. I do not worry that much anymore about being hurt, if it happens, I will survive just like all the times before.