What I Think

This is the way I think - take it for what its worth.
I am pretty sure that there is a reason we are all here, I don't presume to know what it is - way above my pay grade.
I just hope that I can somehow figure out what I am supposed to do or where I am supposed to go  from here because I am kinda stuck  in this place where I have no clue what to do and where to go. I know that I have to make some kind of move I am just petrified of moving in the wrong direction, but any move has to be something because standing still is not really an option.

I cant tell if I am in denial or just depressed - I know how dire my situation is but it doesn't seem to phase me that much - it should be making me nuts and bounce off the walls thinking and talking to people trying everything I know how to do.Yet I am just paralyzed and cant think of what to do. I just don't get it I am usually a pretty motivated person who goes after things. When I need that quality the most it is lacking? I just don't understand!!!!