Me

Okay so today I am feeling a little bit of the holiday blues - at least I hope that is what it is.

I have taken stock of my life the past few days and well it is kind of a disappointment - I have nothing to say that I have accomplished anything in my life - well failures but other then that there is nothing to speak of but death and misery really - I cant remember the last time I actually felt happy or anything except despair or overcome with responsibility. I don't know why, really, there are things that make me happy - spending time with my son and what friends I have left, etc. but for some reason even when I am feeling like I want to be happy in the moment I just cant seem to shake the feeling that the next moment is going to be tragic. 

I am sorry for making this particular blogg so dark but people say write about what you know and well this is what I know right now - I am hoping that I get my life together at some point and can start writing about how great things are and how I can help anyone who needs help - but for now this is it

My life is my responsibility and I will handle it the best way I know how,  I am just hoping that God will be on my side even though I may not deserve it. I really could use some help at this point and  dont know where else to turn- this is where I should have started and just trusted that things happen for a reason and that there is a plan for me.