ME

Ok so I have been told lately that I shut people out or push them away when I tend to need them the most. I guess I do do this - I have always done this, isnt it human nature to hide the worst parts of ourselves? This is not that bad of a way to be - do other people really want to know the worst parts of you when they are not even sure of the good parts?

The fact that most of my life and feelings are an open book puts some people off alittle bit, they dont realize maybe that I try very hard to not give out too much information about myself but as most people who know me know that I usually do give out too much.

I mean that most people who choose to know me know most of me and that is usually a good thing until they realize that I am a complete train wreck. I dont try to explain this to anyone - it really is no ones business. I do understand that sometimes I may require help from someone, but it is just to difficult to explain how I have made a mess of my life and then ask for someone to help me. The fact that I admit that I need help sometimes is a huge step for me so I guess that I am making progress. I am just not sure that I want anyone to see me that exposed.