I know its been a long time since I wrote anything here - I have been very busy, getting my life together. Trying that is - everytime I think that I am getting somewhere life throws me a new curve-ball, I thought at first that that was a good thing - you know, God wont give you anything you cant handle, and all, but this time I am clearly out of my league to figure out the solution.
I have been having crazy thoughts and feelings about my whole situation and have been praying for some guidance and every time that I think that I am doing the right thing it turns out to be the exact wrong thing to do.
I am in a worse place now than I have ever been and I have no way of knowing what to do. Court dates and job searches and schoolwork and everything else I can handle but not having to find another place to live in the middle of all of this and now my son's school and my mom trying to help but has no clue how bad it is, no one really does - mostly because I haven't told anyone because I am ashamed of the mess that I have made of my life. I am a 35 year old woman who is incapable of taking care of herself - let alone anyone else. Why is that? Is there something wrong with me? Have I completed my time on this earth and now it is time for me to move on? I have no idea, I just know that something has to break before I have to make some decisions I am not really equipped to make.
