Stranded

My days are just running together and I keep losing time. This is not a good thing since alot of y problems are kinda time sensitive.

I have reached the end of my rope and don't know what to do. I am just numb and paralyzed by - well - life, it has finally kicked my ass to the point where I have no idea what is gonna happen to me and well I am not sure that I care.

The fact that I am righting this is proof that I am not suicidal. I will survive I just am not too sure that I should and what my future holds. I don't know anything anymore. All the life lessons that I have learned got me here - is that a good thing? I don't think so.

I am just lost and confused and well stuck. I don't know how I got here and I cant figure a way out. I keep hoping that some  masterful plan comes to me while I read or as I am doing dishes or laundry, but I get nothing. I know that means something - am I supposed to do more to get my mind off my situation or should I be thinking about it more? I just don't feel like I have any options left, I don't know where to turn I feel completely stranded in this place that I have built for my self.