I dont know

I am feeling the need to write today.
I don't know what I am going to write yet, but I figured I would just let my fingers just go and hope something comes out. 

I am feeling very complacent today, the weather maybe has something to do with it, but I am feeling more and more like I just want the world to go away and leave me alone. Not sad or anything like that, just well, I don't know, I just don't feel like being around people, which is odd for me this time of year usually I am very social wanting to spread holiday cheer and all. I have my own holiday cheer and am feeling ok about the holidays - just don't know how I am gonna pull it off this year with no money and very limited resources at my disposal, but that is just normal holiday stress that everyone goes through.

This is the first year in a long time that I am alone and it is different but not really all that scary anymore I made it this far and I will make it the rest of my life if I have to. I have given up on the whole fantasy of a white knight coming to rescue me and  living happily ever after - we make our own destiny and I have to just get on my own horse and ride off to it on my own.