I dont know where I fit in this world - I dont think I ever have known. I just have always been the one that is just always there and happy and with a "good personality" I dont even have that anymore so what is left?
I am not the smart one, the pretty one, or the even the clown, so where does that leave me? I have no real connections to anyone - no one knows me, really, the person that I am inside - a mess. I grasp that this is my fault mostly but no one has stuck around long enough to even try to find out, not even my kid. He knows who I am now and that is a generally good person of average intelligence who just cant catch a break, but is that what I want him to see when he looks at me?
I am not even sure who I am so why should anyone else? I cant seem to figure out where I belong. I have tried to fit here and there but I always have to block off a section of myself to fit anywhere except when I am alone. I dont like having to do that it makes me feel fake and wrong. why cant I just be me and be accepted warts and all?
No comments:
Post a Comment