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Today is a good day - kinda

I am kinda tired today but content - not sure if those two things go together or not, but that is how I am feeling today. I don't want to have to deal with too much today, somehow I think that is a dream.

I have  this feeling that I have to be responsible for my own actions and that this is the place that I need to be right now and if I cant even get my thoughts in order how am I ever gonna get my life in order.

What about other peoples actions? Do other people realize that their actions have consequences on other peoples lives?
This is my major issue right now, letting people help me with my issues and then me helping them is OK - except I am not sure if I want the kind of help that people are offering. I have always been very independent and I would like to be able to take care of my self before I get into a symbiotic relationship, that is not what either of us wanted.
 No one ever knows what will happen after the smoke clears on a problem.  I do not want to have NEED anyone - I would like to want someone in my life that is an equal, who already can take care of themselves.